What is the orgasm gap?
The orgasm gap, or orgasm inequality, refers to the fact that statistically, people with penises have orgasms significantly more often than people with vaginas during sexual experiences. You may be asking how? and why? Let’s break this down a little more!
The facts.
In 2016, a study of more than 52,000 adults in the U.S. looked at how likely they were to orgasm during sexual activity. Here’s what they found:
Why does the orgasm gap exist?
Let’s explore a few relevant reasons for why the orgasm gap may exist:
How can I orgasm more during sex?
When comparing women who orgasmed more frequently with those who orgasm less frequently, those who orgasmed more frequently experienced more oral sex, longer duration of sex, more foreplay, more communication about what they wanted, manual genital stimulation, and trying new sexual positions.
Mental and relationship factors are also important in reaching orgasms. Factors like higher sexual self-esteem, openness and communication with partners, and sexual desire all promoted orgasms.
Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It” suggests focusing on variety. Both people enjoy greater pleasure when they experience a mix of sexual acts.
Bottom Line: Want to orgasm more? Talk openly with your partner and try something new - see how you feel!
I’ve never had an orgasm, is there something wrong?
If you’ve never had an orgasm from intercourse, you are not alone! In fact, 9% of women report never having had an orgasm from intercourse. That’s almost 1 in 10 women.
There are many possible barriers to orgasming, and it can take time to learn about those barriers. Some examples of what can impact orgasming are antidepressants or a history of trauma.
Often, there can be feelings of frustration or shame for many people who struggle to reach orgasm. These feelings themselves can be a major barrier! Feelings of anxiety and inadequacy can inhibit us from pleasure: your body and mind need to feel relaxed and safe enough to experience pleasure. One suggestion is to let go of the idea that orgasming is the ultimate goal, and try to focus on enjoying the experience.
You can also try experimenting with yourself first, exploring any techniques that bring you pleasure and arousal. (If you’re not sure where to start, check out our Basics of Pleasure article!) Once you’re comfortable on your own, try communicating with your sexual partner about what feels good, what you want, and how to help you achieve an orgasm. Over time, you can share more and even experiment with new positions or techniques together to see what you like.
You know your body best and if you think that there’s something wrong, you may want to consult with an OB-GYN to see if there is a medical issue making it harder for you to experience orgasm.
Myth: It’s more complicated for people with vaginas to orgasm than it is for people with penises.
There is a common belief that it takes a lot of time and work for people with vaginas to achieve orgasm. This is completely different for each individual, and often not true!
Fact: 95% of women who masturbate can easily reach orgasm often, and whenever they want.
So, then why do we view the female orgasm as being so difficult to achieve? Likely because we have unrealistic expectations (often due to cultural representation and porn) that people with vaginas should be orgasming from penetration alone.
People with vaginas actually have the capacity to orgasm in many different ways. If you’re not orgasming as frequently as you want to through penetration, experiment with your body, communicate with your partner, and keep researching - knowledge is power!
Sign up for The Monthly Flow, the newsletter of Twentyeight HealthTM to stay up to date on the latest in women’s health.
